ON COMMITMENT by Goethe

ON COMMITMENT

Until one is committed there is always hesitancy,
the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness,
there is one elementary truth,
the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:
the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too.
All sorts of things occur to help that would never otherwise have occurred.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision,
Raising to one’s favor all manner of unforeseen accidents and meetings
And material assistance which no man could have dreamed
Would come his way.
Whatever you can do or dream you can begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.

By Goethe

I thought I'd contradict the beautiful poem with the comic strip as both have some truth in them. As always, balance is the key.... :)

Kindness - One of my favourite poems by Naomi Shihab Nye

Kindness

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things, feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the
Indian in a white poncho lies dead
by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you, how he too was someone who journeyed through the night
with plans and the simple breath
that kept him alive.

Before you know kindness
as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow
as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.
Then it is only kindness
that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day
to mail letters and purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
it is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you every where
like a shadow or a friend.


Naomi Shihab Nye

Three Reasons for going on a Meditation Retreat

Today I am preparing to go on a meditation retreat for about a week. I've been going on retreats with different meditation organisations for about a decade now. I've been for one day retreats, weekend retreats and the longest I've done is a 10 day silent Vipassana retreat. When I first attended a retreat, I was very hesitant. I thought people who go on retreats are a bit weird, or just want to be in silence all the time. However, once I started going, I realised that the participants were 'normal' and in fact, very nice and friendly human beings. You do need to be careful what sort of organisation is running the retreat (my book has a section on retreats), and what you hope to get from going on the retreat.

1. Mental Detox
Unless you are already a very wise and mindful being, you probably participate in life at a frenetic pace. Cooking, cleaning, working, looking after the kids, dealing with difficult relationships - life is not always easy. There is rarely time to rest and just be. With all these activities going on, your mind is probably on overdrive too. By attending a silent retreat for a few days or more, your mind begins to slow down. All the random thoughts, worries and fears rise up from your unconscious, into your conscious mind and are then released. Through this process you undergo what I call a 'mental detox' where all the trapped insecurities and faced and released. Retreats are not easy, but in my experience and those I know around me, they are certainly worth it and do ultimately have a detox effect.

2. Renewed Discipline
If you struggle to practise meditation regularly, a retreat gets you back into the daily discipline. With a daily practice of meditation, you are unlikely to reap any of its benefits. By attending a retreat, you can't help but practise on a daily basis and therefore you are planting the seeds of a new discipline in your life. Discipline is sometimes seen as bad or rigid, but the right level of discipline is essential to help you to stick with your meditation and reach deeper and more satisfying levels of wellbeing. So, go on retreat and renew your mindful discipline.

3. New Insights
If you just do the same usual meditation practice you've always done, you may find yourself stuck in a rut. By varying your meditation or by practising with others for an extended period of time, you create the opportunity for new insights to arise. You have the opportunity to learn new things about yourself and your relationships to others and the world at large. A new idea my spark in your mind, totally changing what you do or the way you live for the better. Anything can happen once you create space in your mind. And even if it doesn't, at least you gave yourself the space for such a thing to arise, if not this time, then perhaps another time. Insights require patience.

Bonus point :-)

4. Encouraging Healing
There's research to suggest that mindfulness meditation boosts your immune system (see http://www.psychosomaticmedicine.org/cgi/content/full/65/4/564). By giving yourself the gift of a retreat, you allow space for you to rest not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. This kind of rest allows you to heal from the inside out. As your stress levels decrease, your mind and body become more settled and function in a mode sometimes called 'rest and digest'. In this mode, you digest food more efficiently and fight diseases effectively, as aposed to the 'fight and flight mode' in which immune function goes down and adrenaline levels shoot up. So go on a retreat and allow yourself to 'rest and digest'!

I would suggest you go on a meditation or perhaps yoga retreat at least once a year - it's a great way to look after yourself and therefore you are better able to look after those around you.

May you be well. :-)
_/|\_

Leave a comment below if you enjoyed this blog post - I shall be back and blogging after my retreat and  will tell you all about it :)

A Poem on Mindfulness by Jon Kabat-Zinn

Have you ever had the experience of stopping so completely,
of being in your body so completely,
of being in your life so completely,
that what you knew and what you didn't know,
that what had been and what was yet to come,
and the way things are right now,
no longer held even the slightest hint of anxiety or discord,
a moment of complete presence beyond striving,
beyond mere acceptance,
beyond the desire to escape or fix anything or plunge ahead,
a moment of pure being,
no longer in time,
a moment of pure seeing, pure feeling,
a moment in which life simply is,
and that is-ness grabs you by all your senses,
all your memories, by your very genes, by your loves,
and welcomes you home, that is a taste of mindfulness.

Mindfulness Exercise - Lying Down Mindfulness of Breath

Lie down with your back on the floor and place your hands on your belly in a way that feels comfortable to you. Take a deep breath in, hold it for a few moments, and breathe out. Repeat three times, seeing if you can feel your belly rise and fall. Now continue to breathe naturally, however the breathing goes, whether shallow or deep, and say to yourself 'in' as you breathe in, and 'out' as you breathe out. Or if you prefer, you can say 'rising' and 'falling' as you breathe in and out. Try and practise for as long as you choose to, perhaps 10 minutes or maybe more. You can keep your eyes open or closed, whatever you prefer. Each time your mind wonders off into worries or other physical sensations as you realise, kindly bring you attention back to the breath. Remember, it's okay for your mind to wonder off, that's the nature of the mind. Just bring it back whenever you realise. It may not feel like it's helping, but trust in the process and persevere.

Mindfulness For Dummies (For Dummies (Psychology & Self Help))

Mountain Meditation

Mount Fuji

Try This - Mountain Meditation - As you sit, visualise the image of a beautiful and majestic mountain. Get a sense of its stability and majesty. Now allow that image to merge within yourself, so that you are sitting with the same sense of dignity, and feel centred and grounded, just as the mountain is. Now feel your breathing at you sit for a few minutes or so.

If you've got the book 'Mindfulness For Dummies', this meditation is also on one of the tracks on the CD.

Mindfulness For Children and Parents

Teaching Mindfulness to Children

Mindfulness has a natural, child like quality to it. When you are being mindful, you are connecting with your own inner sense of curiosity, wonder and innocence. In this sense, children are naturally mindful. Unfortunately, due to excessive use of modern technology and high levels of fear and stress, children need to be taught different techniques so that they have ways of coping with the various pressures placed upon them.

Here are some things to remember when teaching your child to be mindful:

- Be light-hearted rather than serious. If you can make the mindfulness exercises into a game, you are more likely to succeed in encouraging your child to try them out.

- Keep the mindfulness exercises short - children cannot focus for as long as adults, so a few minutes may be more than enough

- Avoid pressure - if you force your child to be mindful, you loose the freedom and joy of mindfulness and the exercise is no longer a mindful one

- Be patient - you're not likely to be successful every time you try to teach your child to be mindful. Experiment with different techniques and see what works.

There are lots of little mindfulness exercises you can do with your child. For example, if you child is very young, you can ask them to lie down and place a teddy bear on their belly. Then, ask them to become aware of the teddy bear rising and falling as they breathe in and out. Ask them if they can make the teddy bear move up and down more slowly. At the end, ask them how they feel compared to how they felt at the beginning of the 'teddy bear meditation'! 

Mindful Parenting

Parenting is the most difficult, important and rewarding job in the world. Mindfulness can really give you a helping hand so that you can manage your stress levels and be more present for your child. Everyone knows that children need love, but that love comes from giving attention. That's why children who are sadly not given enough love become 'attention-seeking'. Mindfulness is about training you to giving attention and so is ideal for parenting. A mindful parent practises mindfulness meditation on a regular basis, makes time for their children and gives them their full attention and warmth and also looks after themselves. Parenting is a tiring business and so you need to make time for you. As you learn to become more mindful, you become more aware of your own needs and learn to look after yourself in creative ways. 

Here are some tips:

- The heart of mindful parenting involving practising some mindfulness meditation on a daily basis, whether you choose to practise for 5 minutes or 45 minutes, a daily routine is very helpful

- Use opportunities when you are with your child to give them your full attention rather than constantly multi-tasking. Just as you get annoyed when someone doesn't give you their attention, so children feel frustrated when their parents are constantly ignoring them.

- Try and see things from your child's perspective. This may help you to be a little more patient.

- Take time to look after yourself. You could treat yourself to a night out, or go for a mindful walk from time to time or take on a new hobby to take your mind off things for a while. Although these may sound like difficult things to find time to do, if you make the effort, you'll feel better in the long run and will gain in energy. Mindfulness is about being kind and understanding towards yourself as well as others.

- See the fun side of things when you can. Mindfulness is not about being hyper-aware and serious all the time. See if you can laugh at your own imperfections as well as those of your child.

Here's a couple of books I recommend. Mindfulness For Dummies has a chapter on mindfulness for children and parents, and the 'Mindful Child' is all about that subject. Check them out :)

Your comments and questions would be more that welcome - Thank you!